Fat chicks in spandex

Everywhere I go I just can't get away
From the overweight legs gift wrapped every day
I'm a humble man, I don't ask for much
But it would be nice to keep down my lunch
But I can't, they always walk by when I'm eating
My muscles all lock and my heart starts beating
Irregularly every time that I see
A walking wooly mammoth in a woman's size three
Clumps of fat popping out everywhere
Her pants are so tight I can see all her hair
It wiggles and wobbles when they're ridin' on a bike
Now I know what Al Bundy must feel like
The only thing I can imagine that would be any worse
Is Roger Ebert in a speedo but that's a whole nother verse
They wear 'em so much they're gonna wear the things up
And when the pants give away they're gonna all hang out
Beauty's in the eye of the beholder but
When these beauties walk by I keep my eyes shut
Black abominations they're squeezin' their hips in
Please God please no more fat chicks in spandex